Alia Mohammed – Women in Development and Peace
Spinsterhood in Yemen is a prevalent issue sparking public and societal interest. Opinions on its causes and solutions vary widely. Many believe tough economic conditions, high unemployment, low income, conflict fallout, social changes, and adherence to complex marriage customs are key factors driving the rise of spinsterhood.
T.T.A., 24, says she wants to marry quickly to escape the harsh judgments Yemeni society levels at women who delay marriage. She fears being labeled a “spinster,” a term used for women over 30 who haven’t married.
Delayed marriage is a sensitive and complex issue in Yemeni society. Unmarried women face significant social challenges. Society’s negative view of women who don’t marry by a certain age puts pressure on them to marry young.
The Reality of a “Spinster” in Yemen
Customs and traditions heavily influence society’s view of women who marry late. They’re often seen as undesirable or unsuitable marriage partners, creating immense social pressure and negatively affecting their mental health.
One example is a young woman’s Facebook post seeking help finding a husband to escape the stigma of spinsterhood, a label attached to women who remain unmarried by 30. She says, “Life has become too hard for me. The pressure of being a spinster and missing the boat is overwhelming. Help me find marriage prospects so I can try my luck.”
This isn’t unique; hundreds of Yemeni women suffer negative comments and socio-psychological pressure.
Sociologists confirm spinsterhood isn’t just an individual phenomenon, but a result of various socio-cultural and religious factors.
In Yemen, societal views on late marriage are affected by cultural and social factors. A woman remaining unmarried past 30 is unacceptable or undesirable.
Dr. Hana Abdul-Khaliq, a university professor, explains that Yemeni society views marriage as a sign of maturity and social acceptance. Delayed marriage is often seen as a failure. She emphasizes that customs and traditions shape this view; marriage is seen as a social duty women must fulfill early. Delaying it brings lifelong social stigma.
Hanaa adds, “Women who delay marriage experience constant anxiety about their future. This stigma affects their social interactions; they avoid social and family gatherings to escape awkward questions like, ‘Why aren’t you married yet?’ or ‘Someone younger than you is married with children. You missed the boat!'”
This societal pressure creates significant challenges for women, impacting not only marriage prospects but also mental health and social relationships.
Delayed Marriage is Inevitable
A woman’s delayed marriage might be forced on her, outside her control, due to economic factors. Yemen is facing a crippling economic crisis due to the conflict. Many young people struggle financially, hindering their ability to afford marriage. This leads to delays in getting married, negatively impacting the woman.
Many believe Yemeni marriage traditions are expensive, including dowries and wedding celebrations, which vary by region. These costs burden families and reduce marriage opportunities.
Abdul-Rahman Ahmad sees high dowries as a major reason for delayed marriage for both sexes. The dowries demanded in many Yemeni regions are a huge burden on men. Dowries have become a way for families to show off and compete; their value reflects social standing. This leads to inflated costs young men can’t afford.
He adds, “Because of the current economic situation, many young men wait until they can save enough. This can take years, making the dowry a barrier for both parties.”
Many also point to unemployment as a significant factor delaying marriage in Yemen. Job opportunities have decreased, creating a major concern for young men and women. This economic reality negatively affects their ability to marry. A young man without a job or steady income can’t handle the costs of marriage, like housing and other expenses.
Limited job opportunities are a major obstacle to young people building stable lives, making marriage a difficult and delayed decision for many. This situation worsens social problems like spinsterhood and increases the psychological pressure on young people unable to meet societal expectations of marriage and stability.
Delayed Marriage
With rising education levels and awareness in Yemeni society, some traditional concepts about marriage are changing. Reactions to delayed marriage are more varied. Many Yemeni women see delayed marriage as normal and acceptable, even a conscious choice. This is fueled by independence, education, maturity, and careful consideration before rushing into marriage based on traditional social norms.
Dr. Zamzam Salih, Professor of Administration and Planning, says, “In Yemeni society, a woman’s delayed marriage is often viewed negatively; she’s called a ‘spinster,’ as if it’s a flaw or failure.”
She adds, “Although society calls those who delay marriage ‘spinsters,’ I haven’t faced this directly, perhaps because my appearance doesn’t suggest my age, or because I haven’t followed the traditional path society expects. However, the prevailing view of a woman who delays marriage still carries many prejudices. She’s sometimes seen as demanding, arrogant, or even complicated.”
She explains that delayed marriage doesn’t necessarily mean failure or a lack of fulfillment. It can be a sign of high awareness, personal maturity, and independence. She emphasizes that advanced societies evaluate a woman’s success by her achievements in her work and studies, not just her marital status.
Regarding her own delayed marriage, Zamzam says it was a well-considered and successful decision, stemming from her desire to achieve her academic and professional ambitions.
She says, “From the start of my studies, I set my sights on the highest academic degrees, up to a doctorate. It was years of hard work and dedication. Balancing my ambitions with marriage wasn’t easy. After getting my doctorate, I founded a research institution, an achievement I’m proud of and believe was worth the sacrifice.”
She stresses the importance of changing stereotypical views of women who delay marriage, reconsidering success and achievement, and acknowledging every woman’s right to set her priorities and choose a path that suits her, whether early or late in life.
Fatima Al-Awlaqi, a community activist, says, “Delayed marriage used to be met with much societal rejection, but that’s changed. With more opportunities available to women and increased awareness, marriage has become a carefully considered decision.”
She adds, “It’s crucial to understand that marriage shouldn’t be viewed as a goal in itself. It should be built on a solid foundation of mutual respect and understanding. This won’t happen without women setting their standards before marriage to ensure a successful relationship based on compatible values and interests.”
She explains, “Women with ambitions or special interests face greater difficulty finding a partner who understands and supports these aspects of their personality. Sometimes, a marriage proposal comes from an irresponsible, uneducated, or uninterested man, creating an imbalance and leading to failure. Therefore, many women prefer to delay marriage rather than settle for someone unsuitable, knowing a successful marriage requires a partner who understands their ambitions and shares their values.”
Negative views toward women who delay marriage are gradually changing, but this requires joint efforts from all involved parties. It’s essential to create an environment that supports women in making their personal decisions freely and confidently, whether regarding marriage or other life paths.
This requires changes in social culture and education, and raising awareness about respecting individual choices and the right to self-determination. Through open dialogue and promoting positive values, society can support women in achieving their ambitions and aspirations, reducing social pressures and boosting their chances of personal and professional success.