Women in Development and Peace
In many Arab societies, particularly in Yemen, marriage is a fundamental part of a woman’s identity, seen as providing social protection and stability. This belief puts immense pressure on women, especially if they remain unmarried past a certain age, leading to negative psychological impacts like anxiety and depression.
Women sometimes feel society doesn’t recognize their independence, viewing marriage as the only path to personal and social stability. This societal pressure can cause psychological distress; women may lose joy and emotional balance, sometimes resorting to excessive, even hysterical, beautification to attract attention. In severe cases, untreated, this can escalate to severe depression or even suicidal thoughts.
Real-Life Stories
Yasmin, a forty-year-old from a village in Taiz Governorate, suffers from severe depression, leading her family to seek traditional remedies like spiritual healers and Quran reciters, as she’s lost the ability to connect with others.
Yasmin felt intense social pressure from her family and community for a long time; she was viewed with pity and condescension due to her unmarried status, worsening her mental health. This reflects the challenges many girls in rural communities face regarding limited marriage prospects.
Yasmin’s story reflects the reality for many Yemeni women, both urban and rural, where customs and traditions heavily influence lives. Despite growing awareness of women’s issues, the impact of these customs remains, especially concerning marriage.
Some unmarried women accept this reality and cope without the negative effects of societal pressure, even developing resilience.
Others, however, are deeply affected by expectations and pressure, leading to deteriorating mental health, even to the point of wanting to escape or contemplating suicide.
M.A., a man in his late thirties, ended his life after a long struggle one dark night in Lahj city. He chose to escape the pressure from his family, his fiancée’s family, and a society that didn’t help him overcome his challenges.
M.A. was ambitious and intelligent, graduating with a business administration degree. He had big dreams, wanting to marry his cousin, whom he loved since childhood. But circumstances weren’t as he planned. After graduation, he struggled to find work in the country’s deteriorating economy due to conflict and its consequences. His job applications failed, leading to severe frustration, especially as his uncle pressured him to prepare for the wedding and cover the costs according to tradition, not wanting his daughter to grow old unmarried, particularly as her younger sisters had already married.
The pressure from his family, his fiancée’s family, and society, combined with unemployment, fueled his loss of hope, especially seeing friends marry and start families while he remained jobless. This led him to take his own life due to overwhelming mental pressure.
Women’s Mental Health
A 2018 study, “The Impact of Spinsterhood on Women’s Lives: An Anthropological Approach,” revealed that unmarried women experience frustration and deprivation. Women naturally crave companionship, and the inability to marry can lead to disappointment and despair. This feeling intensifies as women approach menopause. They may also experience anxiety and depression from not achieving this aspect of their lives.
The study also notes that individuals feel helpless when unable to meet emotional and material needs. For unmarried women, this feeling worsens with age; they feel unwanted, causing constant anxiety. The death of a parent or both exacerbates these feelings; they lose their social safety net and may become depressed due to accumulated frustrations, especially after failed relationships.
The study showed that feelings of deprivation and psychological incompatibility can lead to personality disorders, sometimes even if they marry later in life. Resentment and alienation from society may persist.
The study stressed that the pressure of seeing relatives and friends marry while they remain single can lead to suicidal thoughts, particularly if their families are unsupportive.
The study highlighted society’s role in shaping women’s self-perception and their role in life. Social expectations exacerbate the suffering of unmarried women, making it a complex social and cultural issue, not just an individual one.
Dr. Nadia Abdul-Qadir, a psychologist, explains that spinsterhood leads to complex psychological problems for women, especially in Yemeni society. Many suffer from psychological incompatibility and internal conflicts due to delayed marriage and relentless social pressures.
She noted that many girls experience psychological disorders due to societal views and family treatment. They may feel depressed and frustrated by constant pressure at social events, even from a glance, whisper, or indirect criticism from relatives. This significantly impacts their mental state, leading to overall decline.
She explained that spinsterhood is a common problem affecting many girls; many seek marriage and childbirth as a means of achieving psychological stability within their communities.
Suggestions
Regarding suggestions to address the psychological and social effects of spinsterhood and its negative impact on women, Dr. Abdul-Qadir suggests creating women’s clubs and associations to provide a supportive environment, reducing feelings of loneliness.
She also emphasized the need for collaborative efforts to raise awareness about the dangers of insensitive treatment towards unmarried women, as it can negatively affect their mental health. Awareness campaigns could utilize media and social media, offering advice and guidance, or specialized programs providing psychological support and addressing spinsterhood-related issues.
She stressed the need to focus on psychological aspects, suggesting solutions to mental health problems through research studies investigating the needs of this group, utilizing counseling services to help girls overcome problems, and providing necessary psychosocial support through individual or group counseling sessions.