Afrah Borji – Women in Development and Peace
Arab society is seeing noticeable changes in how it views male-female relationships, many of which begin on social media platforms like Facebook, WhatsApp, and Instagram. This change is due to technological advancements and increased cultural openness facilitated by the Internet. In Yemen, social media’s impact on spinsterhood is twofold: it can be a tool for communication and idea exchange and amplify social pressures on women.
Young women’s increasing use of social media and online platforms to find husbands reflects significant social changes, especially in Yemen. These platforms offer an alternative to traditional matchmaking. Still, their use presents challenges and opportunities that can lead to positive or negative experiences, particularly for women facing social pressure for being unmarried.
Positive and Negative Impacts
A tech expert, who preferred to remain anonymous, discussed the role of technology and social media in spinsterhood, highlighting both positive and negative impacts. The expert emphasized that these platforms have multiple effects, some of which help alleviate the problem.
Social media enables individuals to reach a wider range of people, increasing marriage opportunities through direct interaction. Platforms also allow people to learn about each other’s backgrounds, education, and jobs. They help women enter new fields like digital markets, education, and employment, boosting their self-awareness and enabling them to make more independent decisions about their personal and professional lives, including marriage.
The expert also mentioned the potential negative impacts of social media directly contributing to higher rates of spinsterhood in Yemen. Increased awareness of women’s rights and changing traditional concepts of marriage initially seem positive, but can also be viewed negatively, contributing to higher rates of spinsterhood.
The expert continued: “With increased awareness of rights, women’s expectations regarding relationships and married life have risen. This negatively impacted and increased spinsterhood rates. Social media promotes unrealistic standards for ideal partners and marital relationships. The idealized image of marriage online leads to existing relationship failures and difficulties forming new ones due to heightened expectations.”
They also noted that content on social media, particularly Instagram, which focuses on travel and luxury lifestyles, has contributed to delaying marriage for many men and women.
The expert continued: “Negative content on social media about marriage and responsibilities has increased anxieties and concerns among young women about marriage and its responsibilities. The internet has boosted virtual relationships at the expense of traditional social gatherings. This shift from real-world to virtual communication has reduced opportunities for personal connections and real-life encounters leading to marriage.”
Motivations for of Technology Use
Aisha Ali (a pseudonym), a teacher at a private school, pointed out the growing trend of delayed marriage among young women in Yemeni society. She explained that this phenomenon has intensified in recent years due to several intertwined factors, including increased reliance on social media for dating and marriage, changing social roles for women, and rising expectations among young people regarding marriage.
Aisha explained that over-reliance on social media in finding a life partner can lead to several problems and challenges, including superficial relationships, increased opportunities for scams, and the difficulty of accurately assessing personalities through these platforms.
She noted that relying on women’s gatherings to arrange marriages—a common traditional method—can put young women under immense social pressure. In these situations, girls feel compelled to accept a partner who may not be suitable for them, simply to meet societal expectations, thus reducing their chances of making thoughtful personal decisions about marriage.
In her opinion, social and cultural changes necessitate a re-evaluation of traditional marriage practices and the development of new mechanisms to help young people build stable and happy marital relationships. A balance must be struck between using modern tools like the internet and social media and preserving aspects of traditional methods that ensure social guidance and support for individuals in choosing a partner.
Aisha also revealed the ugly side of online marriage and proposals, drawing on real-life stories of girls who married through these means and ended up in failed marriages and divorces.
She explained that many girls create social media accounts with the goal of marriage, hoping to find a suitable life partner. However, this method often leads to failed experiences; the two parties don’t get to know each other sufficiently before marriage, leading to major post-marital shocks.
One example Aisha mentioned was a woman in her late thirties who agreed to marry a much older man living in another country, just to escape social pressure. After marriage, however, she discovered that her husband didn’t align with her ambitions and dreams, leading to the failure of the relationship and their separation. This illustrates how incompatible expectations can significantly contribute to marital breakdown.
She stressed the importance of caution when entering into online marital relationships, urging girls to carefully verify the identity of potential partners and ensure their intentions are genuine. She also advised seeking guidance from trusted family and friends before making any life-altering decisions.
She pointed out that the specter of spinsterhood is a significant threat to girls in society, but stressed that a bad marriage is far more painful. When a girl marries someone lacking humanity and respect, she loses herself and her independence, negatively impacting her mental and social life.
Potential Risks
While online dating sites might be an effective way to expand dating options and offer new opportunities, they must be approached cautiously and consciously to avoid potential risks, such as fraud, extortion, and identity verification. Careful interaction is key to protecting individuals from harm on these platforms.
A tech expert clarified that online dating sites and marriage proposal pages have mixed motives, both positive and negative. He affirmed that these platforms expand the pool of choices, especially in societies with social restrictions that limit dating and marriage opportunities.
He mentioned that these sites offer a chance to meet people outside one’s geographical area or even from the same area, but with different backgrounds and cultures, allowing for finding common interests and values. However, he warned that these sites can turn into nightmares if not approached cautiously; there’s been a rise in scams, fraud, and digital extortion by page owners who target victims, especially women seeking life partners.
Reasons for Delayed Marriage
Journalist Mohammed Al-Salawi cited several reasons for delayed marriage among women. He argued that technology and social media aren’t the main culprits; it’s deeper issues like poverty, conflict, and the harsh economic conditions Yemen has faced since 2011, along with high dowries demanded by parents and young men’s reluctance to marry due to these challenges.
Al-Salawi sees technology as a double-edged sword, playing a minor role, but also believes that some women’s negative use of social media has negatively impacted their social lives and contributed to delayed marriage.