Ahmed Bajoaim – Women in Development and Peace
Many young Yemenis find themselves facing complex challenges that hinder their dream of achieving family stability. This phenomenon began to emerge after the country plunged into armed conflict nearly a decade ago. While social traditions used to dictate a different rhythm for marriage, the repercussions of the conflict have become more influential on young people who face many challenges. They confront a reality that is more complicated than tradition, as economic circumstances and the conditions of the conflict intertwine with complex social norms in most Yemeni areas.
The youth’s views on the reasons for this phenomenon and its prevalence differ. Some consider it an inevitable result of the difficult economic conditions suffered by local communities due to the conflict. Others believe that the phenomenon stems from the excessive demands of parents and the costly dowry requirements, coupled with the need for other things. This is further compounded by unemployment among young people, low salaries, and limited job opportunities. Some advocate for a reevaluation of traditions and raising awareness about the importance of easing marriage conditions to align with current circumstances.
Perspective and Challenges
The young woman, Bayan Ahmad, shares her perspective on the growing phenomenon of spinsterhood in Yemen. She points out that this phenomenon reflects the complex reality the country is experiencing amidst deteriorating economic and social conditions. Spinsterhood is not merely a simple personal or social matter, she argues, but rather an inevitable consequence of the economic pressures faced by young men and women alike. This includes the high cost of marriage and the lack of suitable economic opportunities for stability. She also highlights several factors that contribute to the exacerbation of this phenomenon, such as rigid social norms that impose high standards for marriage, making it more difficult for young people to achieve emotional and social stability.
Bayan adds, “The ongoing conflict has exacerbated the problem and complicated it for young people entering marriage. It has resulted in several challenges and obstacles that have led to an increase in spinsterhood in Yemen. These include weak security and stability, lack of job opportunities, a growing wave of displacement within Yemeni communities, and the migration of many young people outside the country in search of work, among other challenges. All these reasons have reduced the level of consideration for marriage among young men and women at present and made them hesitant about it. Their main concern has become survival and overcoming the economic obstacles that are intensifying day after day. Especially since there are no signs of an improvement in the current situation, which means that spinsterhood is on the rise.”
Meanwhile, the young man Zakaria Al-Kathiri says, “The phenomenon of spinsterhood has several reasons that have made it continuously increase. Yemen has different communities and tribes that practice unfavorable customs and traditions. Some tribes and communities do not allow marriage outside their tribe, even if they are a minority in terms of population. Because there are more females than males, it leads to the deprivation of girls from marriage. Even if there is an interest from outside the tribe, those family heads refuse due to the class difference between them. This has caused many girls to face the phenomenon of spinsterhood, in addition to the challenges imposed by the current situation in the country.”
He explains that other reasons hinder young people in Yemen, including the side demands of marriage. It requires the provision of an independent residence, large wedding banquets, and celebratory halls, all of which are met with limited job opportunities for young people and a deterioration of economic conditions. There are no facilities to combat spinsterhood except through community initiatives that organize collective weddings to contribute to easing the exorbitant costs on the groom. Before that, young people need to have jobs before marriage so they are financially ready for the marriage phase.
Mohammed Yusuf, a young man, believes that the social and economic transformations that emerged with the repercussions of the conflict have created many turning points and challenges for individuals in Yemeni society. The phenomenon of spinsterhood is one of the challenges that affects the stability of young people and society as a whole. It requires a comprehensive study of all elements. Social and cultural factors that play a significant role in its exacerbation should also be taken into account. Therefore, young Yemenis face difficulty in achieving financial independence, especially with the difficult economic conditions that many experience during the current crisis.
He continues, “These factors, in addition to social traditions that impose certain conditions on marriage, make marriage a distant dream for many young men and women. Spinsterhood is not just an individual problem, but an issue that affects the stability of society as a whole. We must all work together, young people, government, and society, to address this phenomenon and find sustainable solutions. The increasing prevalence of the phenomenon will create social and immoral problems, and other problems that will have adverse consequences for the individual and society in general.”
Real Stories
“Three sisters, the youngest being thirty, are considered spinsters by society,” says a neighbor of theirs in the countryside of Hadhramaut. “Many young men from outside their social class have proposed marriage to them, but they consider themselves to be from a higher class, and social barriers and adherence to customs and traditions have prevented them from marrying.”
He continues, “These girls are on their way to spinsterhood without enjoying their rightful right to marriage. The reason is the discrimination and differences between social classes that have existed for a long time. Some of these social classes only marry within their own class, and the class or tribe that these three girls belong to is small, most of its members left the region years ago, and this family refuses to marry their daughters outside their social class because it is considered shameful for the family. All these customs have deprived many girls of marriage and have pushed them towards a life of spinsterhood. These three girls are innocent, their only fault is that they were born into a society that worships these customs and traditions.”
There are many similar stories and narratives, but from an economic perspective, Omar Ahmad says, “I’ve been engaged to a girl since 2013, with the engagement period set at two and a half years, so I could prepare for the wedding. After the engagement, I left Hadhramaut for Aden to work in a grocery store selling food and sundries. With the crisis that the country has experienced, the outbreak of conflict, economic collapse, and the decline of the local currency, my business suffered a significant loss. I had to use the money I had saved for the wedding to rescue the business. This negatively affected the wedding plans, which were delayed for another two years after consulting with the fiancée’s father.”
Omar adds, “After those two years, the cost of marriage increased significantly, including gold and jewelry, by about half after the value of the Yemeni riyal declined drastically. I contacted the fiancée’s father, and he requested additional expenses, which I couldn’t afford, which led to the breaking off of the engagement after about six years. I couldn’t get married, and neither could the girl because young men are reluctant to get married due to the same financial reasons that I went through.”
Proposed Solutions
Bayan concludes her statement by saying, “As a society, we need to cooperate to alleviate the pressure on young people and work to create an environment that allows them to build stable families without being dragged into customs that complicate marriage opportunities and increase the phenomenon of spinsterhood within the Yemeni local community.”
Many believe that the most important solutions to address the phenomenon of spinsterhood in terms of customs and traditions lie in raising awareness to reject these false beliefs, giving space for marriage between different groups of society, and abandoning classism, at least within groups that are similar in lineage and ancestry.
Mohammed Yusuf says, “The relevant authorities need to set limits on dowries and basic marriage expenses and impose penalties on anyone who tries to exceed them. Most importantly, they need to determine the relevant and trustworthy authorities in the community, especially with the current major political, economic, and social fragmentation. No positive signs will be achieved without security and stability and an end to the conflict.”
Issues related to marriage and the ability to form a family have become closely linked to many variables, such as economic, political, cultural, and social conditions. Therefore, many young people believe that collective efforts need to be doubled involving society, the family, and the state to achieve a suitable environment that helps them achieve their family and personal aspirations.